So, I’m leavin’, on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again.
OK, neither of those statements are true, I’m leaving by bus and will be back Sunday night. And now that the Commander has DSL, well, the online party simply won’t stop once I’m there. Oh wait, I’m leaving town to do things like “not sit in front of a computer”. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
In the meantime, I’m gonna leave you with the three latest entries in the “Ms. Ryan McGee Dot Com” contest. For those of you coming late to the table, no dessert for you until you go back and read the original contest rules and the first batch of entries. And those of you holding back, c’mon, send in your entry. I won’t bite. Much.
In addition, many of the entrants have demanded that there actually be a winner. I am all about a "Special Olympics" approach, where you know, everyone's really a winner, but I'll leave it up to you, my readership. Should there be an ultimate winner, and if so, what should the prize be for said winner? Please drop some thoughts below. And yes, i could have used a better metaphor than the Special Olympics, but I'm gonna just blame it on the shiny shirt I'm wearing. Stupid client day.
Now, on with the newest entrants…
Name:
Psynorm
Location (City, Town, Bit of Grass on Someone’s Lawn, etc):
Chicago
Super Sexy Spy Code Name (c’mon, you know you have one):
"Cheatah" is the callsign, to which I'll respond "What?" and you say "How?" as I say "When?" and you say "NOW."
URL (if applicable):
In your opinion, why are you the most qualified to be “Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com”?
I got a standing ovation from about 15,000 people once, running around my college graduation with just an apron on. Oh, and I'm of what you might call the Male Gender, in the sense that I'm, well, a guy. But I don't want to label myself. I can't seem to fathom a better fit for the title...as it were, whenever I'm not at a computer I am "Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com."
This position comes with great power and responsibility. It’s sort of like being Spider-Man, that way. Would you use your newfound status for good or evil? Please cite examples where possible.
That's another thing. I met Great Power (a great Super Sexy Spy Code name, by the way) in a seedy bar one night while I was bouncing around Cambridge, and she took me through a dark alley around back...down these spray painted steps with hanging light bulbs through a black door with an eye-slide, where the password was **** (blocked out to protect the sanctity of this über-secret club) (but if you read this website, you know the password already). Anyway, Great Power, in her see-through dress, pulls me into this booth around a table flaunting Dom Perignon and Grey Goose bottles under a sexy red bar light and introduces me to Responsibility. She kicked black boots and fish-nets, a black mini, a red bustier and jet black shades. "Good," was all she said.
Let me tell you, I'm all for including these two foxes in the deal. I'm not sure if good or evil would result, but "naughty" is a sure thing. After about 12 Grey Dom's (don't recommend it) my night with the Sexy Spies gets a little fuzzy, but I can tell you that Spider Man never had his hands that full.
I’m thinking of a number between 4 and 5. What is it?
Half nine.
Most pageant winners do a lot of work with charity organizations. So let me ask you this: do you like beer?
I met the Coors Light Twins, once. Asked them the same thing. Want to know what they said?
True or false: Bald is a sexy look. (Hint: It’s true.)
I hate these trick questions. Ummmmm...C.
Do you “have it going on”, are you “all that and a bag of chips”, or have you been known to “shake it like a Polaroid picture”? List all that apply, with anecdotal references if possible.
Now that Polaroid is all in a hissy about people shaking their pictures, I'll refrain from commenting on my ability to Shake...Shake, Shake it. But in a room by myself I'm frequently referred to as:
"Most Handsome"
"Most Likely to Succeed in Forgetting to Set the Alarm"
"Hottest Ass On the Second Floor"
"Why Am I Not Famous"
and
"Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com"
Have I mentioned I'm straight? Good.
Oh, and I've received some very flattering marriage proposals from people I've never met and seem harmless enough...although you can never tell over email. I'm sure that a guy like you receives a few every day, but MRMcGDC should definitely lay claim to a few.
OK, we agree to go out on a date. Unless it's not a date. Heck, I can never tell, but let's call it a date anyways. It's what I'm gonna tell my co-workers tomorrow in any case. But it has to be a double-date, with any two historical figures of any era. Who do you invite to come along and what do we four do? Money’s no object.
Well, Strongbad is without a doubt the first person called. It'd take a while to track him down in StrongBadia, and we'd have to confirm that he can ever leave without the whole nation falling apart in his absence. The date would most likely need to take place there, unfortunately, because the initial plan was for Great Power and Responsibility's underground freak cavern.
So StrongBad sends us his private jet, and on the way there we pick up Jennifer Garner. Obviously. Our date would be spent running around StrongBadia playing pranks on Homestar. And eating Grumblecakes. Maybe I'd spit some rockstar game at Marzipan so that the flight home would be a foursome and both of us could get a little lovin'.
***
Name:
Kristen
Location (City, Town, Bit of Grass on Someone's Lawn, etc):
San Francisco. In the office. "Working".
Super Sexy Spy Code Name (c'mon, you know you have one):
Didn't you try to make up one for me? Something about "Rolf" not being sexy. How can Rolf not be sexy? Who hasn't lain awake at night, fantasizing about hot Muppet . . .I'm sorry. That wasn't supposed to be out loud.
URL (if applicable):
I don't have one. I don't even have a favorite one like Lizard, you know, ever since hatsofmeat.com took down all the pictures of meat hats and put up Arabic text. Um furnitureporn.com ?
In your opinion, why are you the most qualified to be "Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com"?
Okay it's true: I live thousands of miles away, and sure we aren't "made for each other," and yes I won't "put out" and stop looking at my leg like that. BUT: do you really need a Miss Ryan McGee Dot Com? I've given you the gift that keeps on giving: cross dressing. I taught you to dress and walk like a member of the opposite sex. With me around, you can be your own Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com. Now, don't you feel self sufficient?
This position comes with great power and responsibility. It's sort of like being Spider-Man, that way. Would you use your newfound status for good or evil? Please cite examples where possible.
OK, I think
I'm thinking of a number between 4 and 5. What is it?
And.
Most pageant winners do a lot of work with charity organizations. So let me ask you this: do you like beer?
More than I like children.
True or false: Bald is a sexy look. (Hint: It's true.)
I would have sex with Yul Brenner's decomposing corpse any day of the week.
Do you "have it going on", are you "all that and a bag of chips", or have you been known to "shake it like a Polaroid picture"? List all that apply, with anecdotal references if possible.
No.
Don't ask again.
OK, we agree to go out on a date. Unless it's not a date. Heck, I can never tell, but let's call it a date anyways. It's what I'm gonna tell my co-workers tomorrow in any case. But it has to be a double-date, with any two historical figures of any era. Who do you invite to come along and what do we four do? Money's no object.
Definitely Clay Aiken and Carrot Top. I mean hey, we've already established that I'm not going to put out. This way at least you can tell everyone that you got to beat up Clay Aiken and Carrot Top on your date last night.
***
Name:
Jess
Location (City, Town, Bit of Grass on Someone’s Lawn, etc):
39° 44' N Latitude and 86° 17' W Longitude
Super Sexy Spy Code Name (c’mon, you know you have one):
I have a couple "aliases”. Not in any particular order: Annie Oakley, Broken Back, Mountaineer, Cowboy, Angelica, Jada, Super Girl.
In your opinion, why are you the most qualified to be “Miss Ryan-McGee Dot Com”?
Honestly I have no real vouchsafe qualifications to be Miss Ryan. I haven’t paraded down every bar strip yelling Ryan McGee rocks, I don't own 150 or more Mardi Gras beaded necklaces, But I will say this: I dig Ryan and his work. He makes me laugh. Also, I admire his thought process and would support him in anything that he would want to take a stab at. Gooooooo Ryan! lol.
This position comes with great power and responsibility. It’s sort of like being Spider-Man, that way. Would you use your newfound status for good or evil? Please cite examples where possible.
At first it would be for the good. I would help the helpless. TIVO all the wrestling bits. But as soon as HBO were to offer me the series called The Life of Miss Ryan-McGee, I am afraid my powers would shift to an evil status. Total lime light atrocity.
I’m thinking of a number between 4 and 5. What is it?
There could be a lot of possibilities so to throw in my guess I say.... 4.25
Most pageant winners do a lot of work with charity organizations. So let me ask you this: do you like beer?
Yes, I am a beer voyeur...I like to WATCH people drink beer.
True or false: Bald is a sexy look. (Hint: It’s true.)
True: and Balding is a sign of brilliance.
Do you “have it going on”, are you “all that and a bag of chips”, or have you been known to “shake it like a Polaroid picture”? List all that apply, with anecdotal references if possible.
In my unique ways I apply to all three. I have it going on cause I wear Bombshell Brown lipstick and its works. I am all that and a bag of Chips cause my color combinations know no boundaries and don't underestimate the power of pink. The only way I shake it like a Polaroid pic is when by myself in my room and I do my impersonation of Elizabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting with her scene in the bedroom and bar. Or anytime if I have had 2 or more glasses of champagne.
OK, we agree to go out on a date. Unless it's not a date. Heck, I can never tell, but let's call it a date anyways. It's what I'm gonna tell my co-workers tomorrow in any case. But it has to be a double-date, with any two historical figures of any era. Who do you invite to come along and what do we four do? Money’s no object.
Umm I thought about Cowboy Bob cause of his cockeyed hat which would be fun to poke fun at...but then got to thinking it would have to be you, me...and the master of the Californian Twilight Zone Joss Whedon and his wife Kai. (I consider him part of history because of the fact that he created Buffy.) Anyhoo, we go to dinner and only as Joss can do, he mesmerizes us with his story on what made him decide to do Buffy the Musical & how he conned his wife to sing the lead song in the foyer while he played his freestanding keyboard for his test tape. Then you and I finish by walking and talking about how brilliant certain people can be and how life is full of many obstacles and also open doors.