Start of a big week for me…in four days time I’ll be in the Windy City, staying with a friend who’s currently vacationing in Puerto Rico. By chance, I saw an informercial whilest on the treadmill Saturday for Puerto Rico, and let me just say that I should have gone and met her there. So THAT is where all the girls from the Justin Timberlake “Señorita” video live…huh, who knew? Rico my sauve, baby.

So, yea, big week ahead of me, but I’ve got time to throw a few thoughts together…namely, things I’ve learned this weekend. It’s not a 2,500 word essay describing why relationships in the 21st century will never work, but really, I’m sure you OK to be without another one of those little chestnuts this Monday morning. Without further adieu:

• I’m a menace to myself in Old Navy. Learned this the hard way after having a dozen shirts in my hand within ten minutes of going into the store on Friday. Seriously, if you ever hear me casually mention I’m going to Old Navy, smash a bottle over my head and tie me down until the impulse passes.
• Some people would say that defeating levels of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds” by methodically going between your PS2 and your computer, where you’ve conveniently found a website that tells you step by step how to beat said level, would be unsportsmanlike. I am not one of those people. Like I have the intellectual capacity to know to turn on the gas valve and use the lighter to blow up a wall. Honestly, do they think I’m Einstein?
• The opening sketch of “SNL” was the funniest thing they’ve done in years. Hands down. Not even open for discussion. Also, I kinda want a “Mary Kate and Ashfleck” shirt. Maybe Old Navy has one…
• Gotta love it when your mom tells you, “Oh, I have some photos for you to take home with you,” and proceeds to hand you a literal garbage-bag full of them. I still can’t believe we never changed out last name to “Kodak”. Maybe then we’d get 10% off for developing or something.
• Exchange which reinforced that I’m OK being single for a bit: Brother: “Yea, I woulda been here sooner, but I tried taking a shortcut, only got really lost.” His GF: “Yea, and ironically, two times when he turned wrong, I was right.” Brother: “You were right? What? But you didn’t say anything!” GF: “Well, I didn’t wanna be wrong.”
• My brother and I can turn 24 beers into 4 beers, simply by watching Wrestlemania. Oh, and that Triple Threat Match RULED ALL. You’re my boy, Benoit! And props do HHH for doing the job. And again, only three of you care. You’d think I’d learn by now, but no. (And damn, “heel” Trish Stratus is 100 times hotter than “face” Stratus. Damnit, slipped up again.)
• Seriously, ten beers and not only am I not dead, I just took out the garbage. I haven’t been this proud of myself since I mad it to the 4 am closing time in the bar while chatting up that 19 year old. And yea, that was only two weeks ago, but still. Few and far between, these moments are.
• Say it with me, like the principal in “Ferris Bueller”: Ten…beers.

OK. Bed beckons. And by “bed” I mean “826 glasses of water, just to be safe”.