Going on a little hiatus: August has been undoubtedly one of the craziest, busiest months since September ’94, back when I was training for the Ironman Triathlon, consistently saving babies from burning buildings, and having all the sex with Yasmeen Bleeth. But that’s neither here nor there for right now. Well, maybe over there. No, a little to your right. Bit back…perfect! Right there.

Today, God willing, the last of the move is completed, with me doing the walkthrough with the old landlord and getting my security back. I went over last night to do a final sweep to ensure there’s no way to not get it back, and lo, five men, including my landlord, are painting the apartment. Waited four years for things such as “a bathroom window that wasn’t more scaly than a T. Rex” and all I had to do was get up and leave the building after dropping an ungodly amount to them to do absolutely nothing while I was there. And I’m not bitter in the least, really. Just hide your kittens, lest you want them kicked.

But let’s just talk for a minute how I stuck a 5’ baker’s rack into my ’98 Camry last night. Truly one of my finest moments. A life-sized Rubik’s Cube-esque puzzle, to be sure. Thought I was going to have to trash this, but through a bit of ingenuity and a bit of stretching the definition of legal driving, lo and behold, one baker’s rack now sits adjacent to my kitchen. So, long live another year of “nice rack” jokes.

So, in the last gasp of the whirlwind that was August, I need to collect my deposit, meet up with my old roommate to give him half, do 3 weeks’ worth of laundry, and pack, all so I can drive down to NYC tomorrow to see the girl for the long weekend.

Oh, and I have this pesky thing known as a “job” keeping my busy too. I guess I should appreciate all the distractions that prevent me from realizing life on this planet is bit a blip in the grand cosmos and that our actions are nothing if not insignificant, but honestly, I just want a nap sometime soon. That’d be nice.