OK, today’s study question.

I’ve talked a lot on this site about the “The Top 5 List” for celebrity hookups; ie, those 5 celebrities that you have in your mind’s eye that, even if you’re dating, monogamous, or married, are allowed to get with should the opportunity present itself. It’s important to limit this list to celebrities, since the chance to actually meet one is slim. If you simply have a “Top 5 List” for say, people you see everyday, there tends to be a problem. If my Top 5 consisted of my roommate, two coworkers, that girl I always see in Star Market, and that chick I saw waiting tables in Abe and Louis’ last week, I’d be in a wee bit of trouble, is all I’m saying.

I took the notion even further in 2003, expousing the merits of a “Reverse 5” (those you’d understand your SO to get with, and perhaps even encourage to earn bragging rights [“Dude, The Girl shagged Bono, how cool is THAT!”]) and the "Anti 5" (those people that, upon learning they’d snogged with your SO, would force you to kill yourself as soon as possible [“You made out with A-Rod??? Slappy McBlueLips? Really? No kidding. Where’s my gun?”]).

Needless to say, I had a lot of times on my hands when I was single.

But today, a new wrinkle’s been added to the mix, thanks to Jennifer Garner’s viral infection. I’m both touched and slightly disturbed at the sheer number of people that have alerted me to her medical condition. When I joked to The Girl that I needed to give JG mouth-to-mouth, the reaction was of course pleasant and reasonable: “So you can get sick and spread it to me. Thanks. Loads.” Now, needless to say, I didn’t think about this. Mostly because I was off in fantasy land massaging Jennifer’s tongue with my own. But the inherent risk of infection did lead me to wonder: how sick is “too sick” for you to hook up with a member of your own Top 5?

Here’s the situation: I’m thinking that the odds of me meeting Jen (Ms. Garner if you’re nasty) or anyone else on my list is slim. Slimmer than Mary Kate Olsen. So slim that if I ever did meet them, it would be a one-time thing. (Let’s not get into the ever-slimming chance if we add in “odds any of these women would look at me and deem me lick-worthy” for now.) This is, in other words, a once-in-a-lifetime thing. At one point does a physical ailment on her part make me say, “Hrm. Man, this ain’t worth it.”?

Cold? Flu? Bleeding from the eyes? Halitosis? Male pattern baldness? What’s the limit?

I guess it’s a personal preference. So I’ll leave it up to all of you to help me set some loose parameters. Any ideas would be helpful.