If this song ever came out on "Rock Band," I might actually learn to play the drums on Expert, just to get as close as I can to nailing the mini-drum solo at 3:38.

Speaking of Rock Band, had my first three-person experience in the game last night. "Unison Bonus"es are insanely satisfying, and it was great to get my first use out of the wireless guitar. Props to Mrs. Me's friends for rocking out with us.

...been ripping through four separate video games: "Rock Band," "Super Mario Galaxy," "Final Fantasy XII," and "Grand Theft Auto IV." And by "ripping through" I mean "spending time when I can on each of them." Managed to run through a sweet four-hour session of GTA IV on Saturday, during which Mrs. Me even cheered along with each mission completed. She even helped me shop for clothes with newly earned blood money. She did not, however, share my enthusiasm upon unlocking a Battle Ax in FFXII. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

...been delving into the show "Undeclared" on DVD, a show not nearly as good as its predecessor "Freaks and Geeks" but enjoyable all the same in a "crank six eps out in one sitting" way. We also guzzled down "Juno" tonight, which we hadn't seen since it came out in theatres. I'm pretty sure I have a man crush on Michael Cera, but really, that's not news.

...been visiting Mom, who had back surgery last week at Mass General. Nothing life-threatening, thank God, but she needs someone to sneak her stash of crystal meth past those perky nurses.

...been not watching the Red Sox. I figured by now the switch would have finally clicked, but I don't think I've watched close to a full game all season. I attribute this to been insanely busy with the Lost blog, all those games mentioned in paragraph one, and a weird notion that maybe I should avoid the things that give me insane amounts of angst. I haven't been this out of the day-to-day activities of the team since the start of the millenium. 'Tis weird indeed.

...been listening to an insane amount of Bob Dylan. After watching the film "I'm Not There" a few weeks ago, I've listened to "Highway 61 Revisited" approximately a dozen times through. I used to be a "Blonde on Blonde" guy, then a "Blood on the Tracks" guy, but right now, "Highway" is where it's at, with especially emphasis on "Ballad of a Thin Man."

So yea, that's me lately...how are you?

First up? A live version of Peter Gabriel's "Signal to Noise," one of the more haunting, evocative songs I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

My hunch is, "Hell no."

The Celtics might not even supplant the Pats in my book, and they'll never surpass the Sox, but that was a helluva final game. Hats off to all of them, and also, Eddie House, I kinda sorta love you. Don't take an extra million and go to like, Portland next year. Big Baby would miss you. I can tell me the way he stares at you on the bench.

Scott Pollard? You can go to Portland. It's OK. Here's some bus money. KTHXBAI.

Awfully sweet of you to ask, though.

(This best not be a trend. Although I'd relish the chance to tell Bob's Furniture, "Hells, no," provided that's actually an option in Facebook. And if it's not, I wish it were.)

1 Sip

• Every time Garnett takes a fade-away jumper from beyond 16 feet from the basket
• Every time a Laker argues a foul called against them
• Every time Perkins argues a foul against him
• Every time Vujacic does something that makes you want to punch him in the face.
• Every time ABC mentions that Paul Pierce grew up in the area.

2 sips

• Every time Cassell takes an ill-advised shot.
• Every time Eddie House's hustle makes you wanna have his baby.
• Every time KG headbutts something or punches some part of his own anatomy in frustration.
• Every time ABC replays an earlier Lakers' score instead of showing the slow-mo replay of the BS foul just called against the Celtics.

3 sips

• Every time Rondo does his patented "I'm going behind the back, oops, I'm not, I'm Rajon Effin' Rondo, B$tches" move in the lane.
• Every time Van Gundy says, "I'm not sure the Celtics have enough offense on the floor right now."
• Every time Fisher hits a wide-open 3 that makes you scream to no one in particular, "Why is no one guarding him????"

Gulp

• Every time Ray Allen beats his man off the dribble.
• Every time one of the announcers note the Celts' "length up front". (Yes, I'm five years old.)

Finish What's Left in the House

• If Doc Rivers actually leaves Cassell on the bench for the whole game.
• If Brian Scalabrine actually enters the game at any point.
• If someone on YouTube edits Brian Scalabrine career highlights set to "Never Gonna Give you Up," starting the newest Internet trend: The Scala-Wag! (C'mon, everyone's tired of being RickRolled, right?)

Without further ado, I give you the world-premiere look at the press release for Harmonix's next great gaming franchise, Soft Rock Band.

***

CAMBRIDGE, MA – June 20 2008 – Harmonix, developer of the blockbuster Guitar Hero™ franchise as well as Rock Band, and Electronic Arts (NASDAQ: ERTS) today announced Soft Rock Band, an all-new platform for music fans and gamers to interact with mellow music like never before. Soft Rock Band will allow gamers to perform music from the world’s biggest soft rock artists in order to live every music fan's dream of standing on stage with some of the world's calmest rock gods. Soft Rock Band will span all genres of this seemingly limitless genre and includes many of the master recordings from the songs you tried to forget, but couldn't, no matter how freakin' hard you try.

The leading musical artists - Christopher Cross, Air Supply, Bread, Captain and Tenille - have agreed to supply master recordings by their artists for use in the game. Kenny Loggins, citing "nothing really better to do," has also agreed to re-record his classic ballad, "Meet Me Halfway," specifically for the release of Soft Rock Band. If you like pina coladas and/or getting caught in the rain, this game is for you.

"Soft Rock Band is Harmonix’s most ambitious project to date, and it will take wimpy music gameplay to an entirely new level. VH1 Classic and the artists, many of whom grateful for any semblance of a royalty check, has given us the freedom and the resources to make the most laid-back musical experience ever crafted for gamers.”

“Our vision for Soft Rock Band is to completely change the way people interact with and enjoy the music they listen to in order to combat insomnia,” added Jeff Yapp, EVP, MTV Program Enterprises.

“Soft Rock Band is a bold step forward in allowing gamers and music fans to tenderly and inoffensively experience music,” said David DeMartini, vice president and general manager of EA Partners. “Instead of the cliched 'Overdrive' meter, players can enter the 'MellowZone'. Unlockables instruments include such as mandolin, keytar, even chamber quartet. In the most emotionally sensitive boss ballads ever conceived, players will face off against titans such as Gordon Lightfoot, Michael Bolton, and Anne Murray. If you'll excuse me, I now I have to smash a toaster into my skull in an attempt to forget I ever had to work on this game.”

Below's a partial list of songs you sorta kinda can maybe rock out to in this game:

• Luka: Susanne Vega
• True: Spandau Ballet
• Cat's in the Cradle: Harry Chapin
• Bless the Beasts and the Children: The Carpenters
• Glory of Love: Peter Cetera
• Because I Love You (The Postman Song): Stevie B.

All this and more when Soft Rock Band ships (in a special, limited-edition, shag-carpetted lined box) this Fall!

***

Well, I'm sold. How about you?

Silly monkeys.

Read all about it.

John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making plans." But he lived before the age of blogs, since he undoubtedly would have said something along the lines of, "Life is what happens to you in between blog entries," were he around in this day and age. (He also would have personally killed Simon Cowell after Season 1 of "American Idol," but that's another story altogether.)

So here's what's been happening since last I wrote...

I've played "Grand Theft Auto IV." Not finished it, but played it. About 15 hours in to the game, and while I wasn't a fan of previous installments, I'm a fan of this one. I especially like how you have to maintain friendships in the game in order to more successfully complete missions. To wit, I learned a valuable life lesson a few nights ago. I learned that if you take out a girl, and you take her to a bar, and you try to drive her home while drunk, and you happen to start off shooting your Uzi halfway to her place, yea, she totally doesn't like that. Took me ten tries to get her to return my calls. But then, I'd wiped out half of the Albanians in LIberty City, but I wasn't the same man I was before she stopped sending me straight to voicemail.

I've listened to Bill Simmons' excellent podcast with Chuck Klosterman. Talk about two heavy hitters going at it, and two of my favorite writers. I must confess that the podcast did not live up to expectations until the end, where Chuck turns the tables, starts asking Bill questions, and completely confounds Simmons in the process. As if listening to that wasn't great enough, the majority of what followed was an analysis of the writing process itself, a topic I found fascinating. At one point, Klosterman makes the astute observation that what a writers finds compelling about his/her process is far different from what a reader finds compelling. I thought that was both an obvious and yet brilliant observation. Listen here if you're intrigued.

I've almost got divorced thanks to "Final Fantasy X." Yesterday, I was under the weather, didn't feel like playing GTA, but wanted a few hours of gaming under my belt lest I have to watch Oprah or something. So I popped in FFX, which I hadn't played in a few weeks, and I sporadically played for the rest of the night, usually when the wife was doing something else. At one point, though, I started what turned out to be an insane slog from one checkpoint to another, during which Mrs. Me went from "casually annoyed" to "I'm looking up numbers for lawyers" in about 30 minutes. If you don't know the game, it's a turn-based role-playing game that involves lots and lots of random battles. It got to the point where Mrs. Me would count the number of seconds down until the screen "crashed," signalling battle mode, and then hurling swears at me, the game, and the universe as a whole. It's enough pressure battling flying fire demons without fear that your significant other is in the other room packing her life's possessions.

So, like, what have YOU been up to lately?

Good, good stuff. Eliza Dushku, that dude that plays Matthew Abaddon on "Lost," and all around geeky goodness. Count me in.

(Also, Boston Celtics? This is better. However, f Sam Cassell gets the nod over Eddie House in the 2nd half, I might have to sucker punch a kitten. Thank you for your concern.)

Well, wrapped up in HTML, but really, who's counting?

Looks like I'm not the only one either.

Way to botch the biggest release of the entire year, guys. Sigh. Guess I'll just sit with my thumb up my rear while they create the patch for the problem they should have fixed in the first place.

Luckily, there was more to tonight's episode than that. Read all about it here.