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February 03, 2003
Blogging with Myself
Hey Ryan.
Who are you?
Your subconscious.
Well, if you’re my subconscious, shouldn’t I not really be aware of you?
Stop being technical.
My bad. So what’s up?
Oh you know, I could see you were having some writer’s block, so I thought I’d ask you some questions, spur you.
And rip off Moxie’s technique of false interviews in the process?
Yea, why not.
Cool.
So what’s going on?
Oh, you know, work and all.
Fun Monday?
Well, I got a chainsaw from the CEO, that was kinda cool.
Chainsaw?
Yea, you were there.
But I’m not actually your subconscious, just a literary device to hide the fact that you aren’t up to writing a coherent essay.
Whoops, my bad.
So clue the readers in about the chainsaw.
Well, the CEO decided to give all of us toys that represented us, somehow.
And a chainsaw represents you because you’re secretly Leatherface?
No, because I am often copying and pasting between electronic platforms, he thought it would be funny to literally cut things up with a chainsaw.
Kind of a stretch.
And mildly creepy. On the plus side, it makes a horrendously loud noise.
OK. So how was “Alias” last night?
Very cool. Completely gratuitous shot of Jennifer Garner getting out of a pool in slow motion.
How many times did Jenny poke you during the episode for severe droolage?
Lost track after seven.
Anything else cool this weekend?
Know what’s cool? Anything on surround sound. Especially my “Stop Making Sense” DVD and the attack in Germania in “Gladiator”. Both highly choice. Also cool? Jennifer Garner getting out of a pool. Oh, and getting yelled at Saturday night by a few teenagers with the phrase "Hey Baldie!" followed by "Hey Fat Ass!" as they passed by in their parent's SUV was inspiring.
Learn anything useful?
Yes, my VCR has only once audio outlet. Previous knowledge of this would have prevented the second trip to Radio Shack to purchase what I actually needed. Also, apparantly I am fat and bald. Which was a new one to me.
Are you worried this essay isn’t up to your usual par?
Nah, I busted ass on the Blogger Bill of Rights and got virtually no response, so I’m winging it today in defiance of the masses.
Really?
No, I love my masses, I just wish they'd leave me more notes.
Think anyone will notice?
Those buggers at the Supreme Court might.
Isn’t that whiny?
Yes, but I’m allowed one whine per month, I feel.
But what about Jenny’s statement over the weekend that if you’re in blogging for the comments, you’ll fail, since it’s in inherent voyeuristic medium, and the search for comments will only leave you frustrated? What about that little obvious nugget of truth?
Don’t tell me what to think, or I’ll start throwing another tantrum.
How are you gonna end this entry?
Dunno, any suggestions?
I'm just a subconscious. I'm not the brains around here.
Duly noted.
Posted by Ryan McGee at February 3, 2003 11:19 AM