Wading in the Velvet Sea

I had read a preview that talked about the Gollum appearance this year; sounds like this year's show is definitely worth the weekend repeat.

And 400 racy schoolgirls dancing... include me in the "whoa"...

I watched the entire show, and it did have it's entertaining moments. Queen Latifah molesting Adrian Brody before giving out the award for best kiss. The opening sequence was good - a big play on "The Matrix: Reloaded." But the T.A.T.U. thing - that was just, well for you, delicious. For me, horrid. First, most of the performance was Memorex, which I realize that the music in most award shows is, but at least Pink and 50 Cent were actually singing/rapping over a recorded track. Then to obviously make up for the fact that they lesbian duo are talentless, they bring out the 400 pubescent school girls to make P Diddy and Ashton Kutcher go wild.

First, most of the performance was Memorex, which I realize that the music in most award shows is, but at least Pink and 50 Cent were actually singing/rapping over a recorded track. Then to obviously make up for the fact that they lesbian duo are talentless, they bring out the 400 pubescent school girls to make P Diddy and Ashton Kutcher go wild.

I am still failing to see your problem.

I think it has something to do with the fact that you are a straight man and I am a straight woman. The things that excite you (400 girls making out and ripping their clothes off) do not excite me. Granted, at the beginning, Sean William Scott did have on underwear and a tank top. Exciting for me, boring to you.

I'm not sure what "thing" I get less....the Sean William Scott "thing" or the Josh Hartnett "thing". His sideburns last night gave me enough fodder for a week's worth of material. Eeek.

I'm straight enough to admit when I can agree with females diggin' on my fellow men, but those two have me at a complete loss.

I was out last night so I only saw about a minute and a half of the tatu thing. I have to say, I am so bored with this manufactured idea of sexiness that seems to pervade the entertainment industry, whether it's aimed at men or women. It totally lacks charisma, which artists with long-term careers have in spades (yes, that includes Gwen, Foley). My thought seems to be that if an act doesn't have that, these entertainment bigwigs shouldn't try so hard and spend so much money trying to place them in the public consciousness. There's plenty of better artists out there who can still bring in the money.

Oh, and my husband was the one who turned off the television. I would have kept watching since I was trying to determine what all the fuss was about.

Sean William Scott is pretty to look at, chiseld features, incredible body. Granted, I would ask him to shut up eventually because the schtick wears thin. And Josh needs a haircut, something that was agreed upon by the 3 females in my living room watching last night. But clean him up and it's "How you doin?" However, neither is on my "safe list." But I can see the appeal.

And I forgot to mention, the Gollum acceptance speech was HYSTERICAL. LMAO!

I watched a very small portion of the show, but the Gollum acceptance speech was easily one of the best things I've seen on TV, possibly ever. On t.a.t.u. (who perhaps should be working for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. or at least trying to take down the man from U.N.C.L.E.), I have only this to say: when your rock spectacle has the viewers at home wanting to watch everything on stage BUT the two members of the band, and in fact causes people to shout, "No, go back to the nameless extras!" whenever either singer gets a close-up, there's something seriously wrong with your band.

Also, the brunette seriously reminds me of a young Joyce DeWitt. I keep expecting John Ritter to come tripping on the stage, followed by a bellowing Mr. Roper:

"Oh sure, you haven't paid your rent this month, but you can afford to hire a hundred dancers to make out, eh?"

"But Mr. Roper, we can explain..."

Josh Hartnett is appallingly hideous. Put him next to (ultra-hot) Harrison Ford in a movie? It just accentuates his hideousness. Ptui!

Perhaps a cover of the "Three's Company" theme tune would be the best career move for them. Although I had thought that she looked more like Rachael Leigh Cook....insert Pussycat joke here.

I still gotta go with Lori Petty as her stunt double.

And really, I'll take schoolgirls over "T.A.T.U. Unplugged" anyday.

Maybe they go try and figure out the Secret of N.I.M.H. while they are at it.

I'm sure they have a profitable career as members of the A.S.P.C.A. ahead of them, as long as they don't go A.W.O.L.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I also have to give a shout-out to Method Man for dissing Tara Reid with his classic, "You need to eat about five more sandwiches before you can fill out those shorts, girl." Jessica Simpson's whipped husband similarly gets a shout out for calling her attire "inappopriate," even if he did that while wearing a "video tape of hostage being forced to read propaganda" face on.

Mocking Tara Reid... it's the American Way.

What is needed, really, is a tour, sponsored by N.O.W., featuring T.A.T.U. opening up for N.W.A.

Method Man needs a talk show. Simple as that.

I can't believe that we've mentioned both Rachael Leigh Cook AND Tara Reid and I can't think of one single Pussycat joke.....

Well, anyway, perhaps tatu can star in a lesbian remake of CHiPs.

Hasn't a lesbian version of CHiPs been done?

No? Then what was "Cagney and Lacey"?

I didn't see Tyne Daly on a motorcycle, did you? ;)

And I don't know if any of you saw the commercial, but apparently MTV has given Snoop his own variety show, called something to the effect of "Doggizzle Televizzle."

Snoop? That's cool! I think that the funniest thing I ever saw on "The Man Show" was when Adam and Jimmy toured his house. Then again, I think that's the only thing I saw on "The Man Show." Now Snoop's got charisma (though not the sexy kind -- I think that's another conversation entirely).

Part of Gollum's speech is at

http://www.mtv.com/onair/movieawards/ma03/clips/

I think that only good things can come of Snoop having his own show. Now we just need to get Method Man and Busta a talk show.

The Yoda speech was pretty good, too.

I think Method Man is also the co-host of the week on "Jimmy Kimmel" this week.

Dammit, Kimmel's show isn't on where I live.

You don't have ABC???

YES I HAVE ABC!!! However, the ABC affiliate in my area has a bug up their collective arse and apparently considers Kimmel too racy to air. The affiliate is located in the same town as Jerry Falwell, if that tells you anything.

I'm not a regular Kimmel watcher, but I can't for the life of me figuring out what they're talking about. What I've seen of the show, there's almost nothing on it that couldn't air in prime time. They must be purely basing this on reputation.

That's my guess. I don't appreciate the station making the decision that this person's material is unfit for my consumption. I think that's my decision and not theirs. But this is also a station whose Sunday morning programming is comprised of Jerry Falwell preaching to the masses. This man has his own college (Liberty University, oddly named seeing as though the females are not allowed to wear pants and skirts must come below the knee), and is developing his own retirement community. It's truly scary.

Wait, the women aren't allowed to wear pants? That sounds like a very liberated place to me! Oh, wait, you mean they have to wear skirts. OK, nevermind.

I still think the single most surprising incident of the Presidential primaries in 2000 (because, come on, we knew it was going to come down to Bush for the Republicans and Gore for the Democrats one way or the other), was John McCain bashing Falwell and Robertson in a speech in Northern Virginia leading up to Super Tuesday. As expected, that pretty much put the kaput on his campaign, but man, talk about not doing things business as usual!

After I posted that last comment, I thought I should have clarified that the girls had to wear
skirts INSTEAD of pants.

I don't really identify at all with the Republican party (especially as it currently stands, with the far right setting the agenda), but I like politicians like McCain because they aren't afraid to buck the party's current ideology and say what they believe. I like Howard Dean for the same reasons.

Have I mentioned the comment threads here ROCK?

Thank you for making an otherwise painful AND EARLY Saturday morning amusing.

Speaking of women not wearing pants, just got back from Boston. Ensign Foley showed me pictures from her prom. Her and most of her friends looked like the prom girls I remembered (although it was colder than normal in Boston, so most of them had wraps). One of her friends, though, was wearing approximately half a dress. Just ridulous. No sleeves, so shoulders, all kinds of exposed midriff on the front and back, slit up the right side which was trashy enough to encourage speculation as to whether she was wearing underwear or not. Just disturbing on a 17-year-old. It's the Pink/Christina Skankulera generation, ladies and gents.

So of course, I spent the whole weekend using her dress as the butt of my jokes. I think my favorite was when I said she must've gotten it at a half off sale.

Sounds like a candidate for Liberty University, where the ladies wear no pants...

***BREAKING NEWS***

T.A.T.U. members are not lesbain. Its all b.s. worked out with their manager. In fact, the manager came up with the concept before he met the girls. They both have boyfriends.

As someone who may be slightly older then most here with children, this fake homosexual laced eurotrash crap music takes on different meaning.
Can anyone say Village People?

I didn't think people were watching because they were lesbians so much as because they made out during their songs, much like they watched Ricky Martin not because he was gay or straight as because he shook his bon-bon. Not sure how this changes T.A.T.U. the concept.

Now the fact that they're using corked bats during batting practice, that pisses me off. Baseball isn't even popular in Russia!

Look...all of you people that are criticizing the performance of T.A.T.U. on Mtv....get over it already. Like I told Lori...can you do even a little bit of what they are doing? Does anyone know who you are? Are you in a band? Is your music playing on the radio? No, I really doubt it. Most of you are sitting at home in front of your computers bitching about what you saw on tv. I didn't even watch the show. I saw a clip of T.A.T.U. and it didn't excite me, but, it didn't bother me either. I'm happy for them that they can go out and express themselves. People do what they have to in order to try to get sales or media coverage. People manipulate the news all the time just to get publicity. I don't see all of you getting up in arms about that. It's just a stupid kiss on Mtv. Get over it already. They are lesbians. So what. They kissed. Okay...and? They did a fine performance and I'm sure they got paid for it. Let it go. Life isn't worth being wasted by complaining about all this petty bull crap. Sheesh!

And you jsut wasted how much time bitching about a bunch of people bitching. How ironic.

Well, at least I am trying to stop the bs whereas you are just keeping it going.