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June 27, 2003
My Three Day Weekend...
...has begun. So far I've succeeded in nearly killing myself and losing roughly 10 pounds.
I did both by deciding today would be a splendid day to start running again. Outside. Mind you, it was tipping 90, but I convinced myself there was a breeze and that I could do this. That it would be good for me. Right around the time I saw the singing badgers holding up signs that read "Ryan is the Greatest American Hero" did I decide that maybe I was too light headed to continue.
Between that and sweatin' into the oldies as per usual just sitting in my apartment, I ain't be gettin' no need for that Atkins diet. I'm on the "sweat like an ape" diet. Works great. For once my hairy man pelt is working in my favor. Oh wait, no it's not, it still only exists to spite me.
The reprieve, of sorts, comes with the arrival of my roomie around 10 pm. Mind you, I hadn't seen her in 3 days, since between us, we're averaging 13-hours days, day in and out. But she helped me finally install my air conditioner right. And by right I mean, "I'm no longer terrified that gravity will take that sumbitch and send it 3 stories down." Seriously. Only the pressure of the window closing down upon it was holding it together. Tomorrow, on my first day off in a while, I'm all over "Operation: Get an Extension Cord cuz This House Don't Like it Much When Both AC Units are Running at the Same Time on the Same Circuit".
She helped my install my AC, which has been tenuously installed for years, and she drinks Diet Vanilla Coke straight out of the bottle. She rocks. You know, I don’t wanna date her, but I need someone that basically low-maintenance to date. You never read an ad on Match.com or Craigslist that reads:
“Hot chick who likes to watch TV, eat pasta out of the pot, generally veg out. Does not feel the need to hike a mountain every weekend. Doesn't actively loathe the outdoors, but greatly prefers central air.”
Instead, every single girl seems to be triathelete. Insane. Saw a great comic once who told all the guys in the audience, “Think about it this way---for every hour you’re in a gym working out…I’m in a bar talking to your girlfriend.” Same rule applies here. I’m not against the outdoors---I like, go there every day. Sometimes, several times even. But man, even reading these ads makes me exhausted. But if these girls are doing all the activities that they say they are doing, no wonder they are single…they aren’t meeting anything but pine cones. Bad stuff.
I have nothing against being active, but I refuse to believe that everyone is as active as they portray themselves in these ads. It’s as almost if we are inherently ashamed of liking to do as little as possible that involves physical harm. I have to doubly apology to people for not kayaking and for watching “Buffy” DVDs instead of said water sport. Not cool, yo. Homie don’t play that. And by “Homie” I mean me.
I guess “active” implies “fit” and people don’t wanna ask for sculpted guys, but if they find out the guy also spends his free time playing soccer, tennis, ultimate frisbee, white-water rafting, skeet shooting, and cross-country pole vaulting, then they can assume a pretty non-Horatio Sanz built character. Rather than seeming shallow, they go the long way around to end up at the same point on the circle. I suppose “sedentary” is not a quality that pops up a lot on a list of “assets” in the dating world.
Sorta speaks to a greater issue, tho, and that’s the person who constantly feels the need to DO something, all the time. Gotta fill up those hours. I used to be like that. My day would go 7 am to 1 am every day, with a full-time job and full-time theatre at night. Just nuts. After a few years, I got a call from my body. Wanted to meet me in a public place and have a talk, sorta like the one in “Jerry Maguire” where Jerry got fired. And it told me to stop doing what I was doing lest it go on strike. Now, I still try to work out every night if I can, but if I don’t, I don’t beat myself up about it. I beat myself up because I’m slamming my head into an office wall cuz it’s 10 pm and the client has signed off yet. But that’s a whole other story.
Point is, down time is underrated. Underutilized. And underappreciated as I look idly across this vast landcsape of singledom. Maybe I’m just naïve. Maybe just lazy. Maybe I didn’t love you…quite the way that I should. But you were always on my mind…
Whoa, little Willie break there. Sorry about that. Sufficed to say, I realize effort has to be made in some form as I traverse (or rather, kinda amble with no real intent) through this dating scene in Boston. I know that I will have to stick my neck out and exert some force in the matter. I just hope, when the time comes, that I’m not applying force to a paddle near jagged rocks on the Merrimac River. I can tell them about my diet if they are so interested in losing weight.
I’ll tell them while we’re sipping a beer on my porch. Yea, that might be nice.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Posted by Ryan McGee at June 27, 2003 12:50 AM
Comments
you're so right. don't you feelign tempted to put down all the activities you'd ever done in your entire life? It doesn't look so how when you say you spend all your free time chatting with your buds on the internet, sitting on your ass watching tv or drinking coke from the bottle. We always have to put the best foot forward.
Posted by: reality at June 27, 2003 06:17 AM
I was browsing the match.com the other day and noticed that just about every guy was a mountain hiker. Honestly if that were in an ad first it would turn me off cause if you dated this person you would know that some point he is gonna ask you to go mountain hiking. YUCK. I am content to be at home relaxing or doing whatever I feel like. occassionally going and catching a show or something. But then again I think that most men might think yuck if I were to mention that I am saving up for Buffy season 4 (yes money is tighter than the speedos that old italian men wear on public beaches)
Posted by: jada at June 27, 2003 09:11 AM
You're right, doing stuff sucks huh huh huh huh huh huh huh......
Posted by: Nina at June 27, 2003 10:35 AM
The last guy that I dated was one of those has-to-always-be-doing-something people and he hated sitting at home. I knew right off that we were not going to work, because I love to come home, grab the remote and sit on the sofa. Lately I have been reading on my deck because it's been nice in the evening. And I am happy doing this, but he seemed to think there had to be something lacking in my life because of it. I told the intern in my office the other day that I needed to find a man as lazy as me, but I have been hard pressed to find him.
Posted by: Lori at June 27, 2003 11:37 AM
Its OK to be Lazy part of the time, but life is to short to be that way most of the time! I love Sunday's that is my time to veg. and maybe Tuesday definitely not Wednesday Hump day is a time to go out. I guess if you both compromise then it is not a big thing.
On the Guys who Mountain bike, alot of us guys say shit like that because it is the round about way of saying ,"yes I'm fit look at me" because that is what 95% of most women are looking for. Been single for a few months and I know who all the girls are looking at, and it doesn't seem to matter that he makes 20,000 a year and is going nowhere. Don't even say its not true either, again I'm speaking in general terms not individuals.
Posted by: Marc at June 27, 2003 11:48 AM
Actually, Marc, I prefer my men to have a good paying job with some ambition to go somewhere. I want my men to have goals. Fit is nice, but it's not everything.
Posted by: Kim at June 27, 2003 12:04 PM
I've got the exact opposite problem. I hate sitting at home. I always like to be out doing something (though mountain climbing or anything outdoorsy seems to be the last thing on that list of to-dos, I'm more into cultural events and socializing). My view is that life's too short to spend it sitting on my ass. Unfortunately my husband is the couch-loving, video game playing type which frustrates me not only because I can't understand why he's like that, but that he makes me feel guilty for apparently not wanting to spend time with him. I've tried it. I've watched him play Wolverine's Revenge. Man, is that game boring. And I spend my time thinking about the things we could be doing that would be more meaningful.
Frustration. It's all part of the charm of being married. : )
Posted by: Diana at June 27, 2003 12:10 PM
Thank you, Kim. Watch the sweeping generalizations, Marc.
Posted by: Lori at June 27, 2003 12:35 PM
You know Lori, one of the things that attracted me to my husband was the fact that he is as lazy as I am. We love to sit around and watch tv on a rainy day, and dedicate our whole Sundays to watching football. They are hard to find, but there are a couple out there. I figure, I do enough when I am working. When I'm not working it's my chance to lounge around and sleep all day if I choose. And he has no problem with that at all!
Posted by: Kim at June 27, 2003 01:17 PM
The sorta point, which i didn't make since I was delirious with heat stroke, is that one can be not a mountain-biker but still be "active".
Yours truly from the air conditioned bedroom I am never, ever leaving again,
Ryan
Posted by: ryan at June 27, 2003 01:58 PM
Kim, that's pretty much my philosophy as well. I work all day and am mentally exahausted and want nothing more than to veg when I get home. I go out on the weekends and live it up. If we could clone your husband, that would be great. I just hate it when a guy acts like I have committed a heinous sin because I stayed in for the evening and did nothing productive.
I see your point Ryan, and it's a good one. But nowadays there's a new meaning to the question "What do you do?" It used to be an inquisition about your occupation, but now it's been stretched to include what mountain you may have scaled or marathon you ran or river you traversed. I'm more of a a "Did you see South Park last week?" person.
Posted by: Lori at June 27, 2003 02:18 PM
My personal favorite is not having a response when someone asks me what my hobbies are. Who has time to work at least a 40 hr. work week, run errands, take care of the kids, laundry, clean the house, go to the grocery store, have somewhat of a social life and scale a mountain? I work a double shift everyday, one at work and one at home. You gals are right, when it comes down to it and it's 10:00 at night, all you want to is veg.
Posted by: Heather at June 27, 2003 03:40 PM
I think most couples (whether dating or friends or whatever) can have a good time while doing stuff, but the true test of love and friendship is, how much do you enjoy doing nothing together? Some people end up completely boring when they don't have some structured activity to keep them entertained. If someone can make a good time out of sitting at home on the porch or whatever, then I'm smitten.
Posted by: Susan at June 27, 2003 05:36 PM
In reading this, I realized there may be a larger significance to the fact that I packed my TV on Thursday and am unlikely to unpack it and get it set up in the new place until Thursday at the earliest... and that I also can't sit down in the new place, because the couch isn't on my schedule to be built until late tonight... hmmm... type A, anyone?
Posted by: Commander Foley at June 30, 2003 09:34 AM