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September 15, 2005
My Super Sweet 16-State Killing Spree
I’m all about guilty pleasures. That new Mariah Carey song, “Shake it Off”? Horrible. And yet I hum it all the time and even do the “brush off the shoulder move” to The Girl after saying, “Hey, check this out!” Which prompts her to scowl. And then start humming the song 10 minutes later. Brutal song. Yet so catchy.
“Elimidate”? Terrifying yet I can’t look away, if for no other reason that it provides a nice sociological look at morons. Ever want to prove women hate each other? Watch four fight over a guy…that NONE of them actually like. Of all the shows, I think I’ve actually believed that two of the women actually wanted to ever see the guy in question once the cameras stopped rolling. Ladies, if you’re looking for proof that men only walk around in search of placing their penis where no others can go, watch this show. They should just call the show “C#ckblock” when it features four guys. It’d be an accurate assessment of the action.
So trust me, I can take entertainment that’s less than “quality”. But the one show I can’t take, and in fact makes me wish violence upon the participants, is “My Super Sweet 16”. I wrote about this a while back, but the new season’s only sealed the deal. I tried to brush off the first season as the exception to the rule, that there couldn’t possibly be a giant demographic of these barely pubescent hellcats, but no, turns out, they are everywhere, and I knew this, but chose to block it out, just like I have tried to block out everything that happened to me as a teenager.
The episode this week, featuring future coke addict Jazmin, caused me to do more damage to my apartment than Keith Moon did to the Holiday Inn in his heyday. She rewarded the generosity of her foster parents, who took her out of poverty and protective care, but turning into the biggest prima donna this side of Celine Dion. Watching her (and really, any of the girls on this show) so unbelievably un-self-aware, is simultaneously hypnotic and enraging. It’s not that they say and do things you yourself wish you could do, it’s that they do and say things that wouldn’t seem possible to anyone who isn’t completely retarded. And I wish to apologize to all the mentally challenged out there for comparing them to Jazmin. That was a low blow on my part.
As much as I hate the girls on this show, I reserve my actual hate for the parents on this show. To the dad who let his 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER go to a party dressed as a French Maid. To the parents who reward children who fail their driver’s test with a brand-new Mercedes. To the adults who by and large create the monsters by refusing to let the word “no” enter their vocabulary. To people who should have been sterilized years ago and instead have sullied the gene pool for the rest of us.
So here’s my new reality pitch: we tell families like this that we’re doing a “Super Sweet 16” type show, only we kidnap both parties, put them in separate rooms, and slap the living shit out of them saying “What the hell is wrong with you?” until they shape up. All the while, we broadcast giant video feeds of all their stupidity in a “Clockwork Orange”-type scenario. Parents see how much they’ve failed as nurturers, and then get shown a slide show called “This is Your Hellspawn’s Future” featuring JPEGs of Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and Lindsey Lohan. The daughters are shown their shallow selves and a videotaped litany of supposed “friends” saying, “I pretend to like her, but if I had the chance, I’d push her down a few flight of stairs and sleep well that night knowing I’d done something good for society.”
Now THAT is a show, people.
Who’s with me?
Posted by Ryan McGee at September 15, 2005 11:21 AM
Comments
My Super Sweet 16 is a train wreck that makes my skin want to fall off my bones, yet I watch them all. As for this weeks, I wanted to PUNCH THAT LITTLE WHORE in the face. I can understand these other spoiled bitches, but she lived IN THE GHETTO. You think she would value things a little more.
I was wondering the whole show what happened to her brother, who adopted him? They leave out the good stuff.
>end rant
Posted by: Livia at September 15, 2005 12:23 PM
About two weeks ago there was a front page spread set with a "Back to School" cover story. Can't remember much from the story other than it focused on Plano, TX and other well-to-do neighborhoods.
There's something wrong with society when the entire Senior class of a highschool drives in Mercedes, BMWs, & Hummers while the teachers are showing up in beatup 80's Toyota Corrollas.
It's also insane to dedicate the cover story of a newspaper to rich kids going back to school.
Posted by: A.J. at September 16, 2005 12:00 AM
I was utterly disgusted after watching My Super Sweet Sixteen with Jazmin the girl who went from being a foster child to being a snobby B. Watching this litterly made me angry because that stupid snob didnt even act greatful for everything that had been given to her. It was like she expected it. And maybe she was better off in foster care at least that taught her humilaty. Her new parents are teaching her that money buys happiness. I would like to she where Jazmin is in 10 years.
Posted by: Laura at February 5, 2006 10:39 PM
I actually saw that episode today and it enraged me. You know, I hate this attitude that some rich girls have towards their parents. Even though my dad earns a lot, I still say thank you for everything he does, I cook him dinner, I don't bitch when he refuses me something, and I wouldn't dream of asking for a car on my birthday, even though he could afford it. This girl lived in POVERTY for god's sake! She grew up in a cockroach infested home! If I were in her position, being saved from such a horrid lifestyle, I would kiss my adoptive parents' feet at any given opportunity. She acts like she is a freaking princess, and it's amazing how she became such a spoiled brat in under a year. God knows if I was her mother, I'd beat the shit out of her.
Posted by: Gabrielle at June 14, 2006 10:50 PM
yo people i saw dat episode with jazmin it made me sick but i had to watch it to see how much of a brat she became in onli a year those sort of parents should be locked up 4 lettin the kids get sooo SNOBBY AND SPOILT !!!!!!!1 ok calm down breath ....... id love to slap all the "super sweet 16" girls to africa live there for a week B&*'$h
Posted by: bradaz at June 16, 2006 11:33 AM
plus, remember, jazmin had this weird... unbalance to her features.
i'm like 99.9% sure she is part midget.
Posted by: soap at July 8, 2006 09:01 AM
I think it's pathetic that Jazmin did that to her friend. Not only that it's ridiculous that her friends played along with it. I doubt I was a perfect sweet angel in high school myself, but I never put anyone down and enjoyed it like she did. She got so much pleasure from seeing people kicked out, put down, and treated like crap. Yeah, 10 years from now she's going to be a crack whore passed out back in a roach infested building.
Posted by: Spazz at July 8, 2006 09:06 AM
hey,
yah jazmin was a lil harsh to her friend Brittany, but her friend brittany shouldnt be stealing her thunder.. like seriously its jaz'z 16th bday and here she comes bringing people to jaz'z house who she doenst like, and trying on dresses when she should be helping jaz out with waht dress she should wear.. but hey .. i guess that could get boring..
I want some pictures of Jazmin if anyone has any cuz i think shes really pretty.. lol:P . i dont no if shes migit.. but she has the booty of one teeheee.. well yeah.. im just getting my opinion outt there.. cya
<3 Brittany
Posted by: Brittany at July 23, 2006 03:33 AM
I'm from Holland and Jazmin was a real b****! She thought she was better than everyone!
Posted by: Engeltje at October 27, 2006 06:14 AM
I actually enjoy watching this show. Jasmin, the little weird looking girl was the only girl who actually made me hate this show. Her parents didn't have to get this one. I don't know how unlucky they were to pick this one out of the foster house. What a poor rich couple.
Posted by: mariko at July 7, 2007 06:08 AM
if you want pics of jazmin, let me know. brittany is my best friend and jazmin, her, and i are all still friends. i can update you on everything.
email: salienalovesyou@msn.com
Posted by: saliena at July 14, 2007 12:31 AM
Jazmin she was kinda of mean to her friend especially when her friend Brittney was trying dress instead of helpin Jazz find a dress when britt tried on a dress jazz was like she cant even afford it I was like b$%ch need can you when you were in foster care and yo a$$ isnt rich yo adoptive folks are you ungrateful brat!!
Posted by: Mel at July 29, 2007 05:51 PM
Jazmin you are a disgrace. You are ungrateful, rude, snobby, and believe that money WILL by you happiness.
I cringed when I saw your behaviour and the way you treated your friend Britney who did nothing that any other teenage girl wouldn't do.
For someone who came from nothing and luck landed you with lovely parents, no one would ever believe it!
You are a disgrace and you are going to end up with absolutely no friends. Grow up Jazmin and pull your head in.
Posted by: Allegra at September 16, 2007 07:43 AM