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October 31, 2006
A Tale of Two RyGuys
Remember that little thing I wrote the other day about the tension between getting older and maintaining my youthful vigor? Well, case in point: going out for beer upon beer and singing karaoke number after karaoke number certainly appeased the latter, but kicked the holy hell out of the former. And here I am, 24 hours after the event, and I still feel, to quote Egon of “Ghostbusters” fame, like the floor of a taxi cab.
One of the more disappointing aspects of getting older (as opposed to old, which is above all a state of mind until, say, you’re qualified to star in “Cocoon 3: The Search For A Paycheck Unrelated to Quaker Oats Residuals”) is your body’s slippage in terms of overall recovery time. It’s not so much that you can’t drink as much or dance as much or stay up as late as you used to do…it’s just that now there are consequences to such actions further on down the line…usually, 6-12 hours down the line.
And if you’re stubborn like me, or have short-term memory loss like me, or just think that it’s a waste to not drink as much Sam Adams Octoberfest as one can during the scant three months it’s available for purchase, you refuse to acknowledge biology’s inevitable decline and forge on, same as it ever was, letting the days go by, but not without a fight. That being said, it’s hard to put up a fight when the child-proof cap for the Advil is proving to be a more than adequate foe first thing in the morning.
The day I turned 21, I proudly walked into a liquor store for the first time. I’d purchased booze before, don’t get me wrong, but this was the first time I’d bought liquor using something other than a tampered student ID. (Ahh, good times, getting Franzia and Bud Ice at age 19. Sniff.) Got myself a bottle of vodka, and brought it back to the dorm. Started making myself a little triple-vodka with 2/3rd OJ, 1/3 cranberry juice cocktail, over ice, in a plastic cup, while playing Super Techmo Bowl with the roommates. By the time I left for the 80’s Dance, I made the surprising discovery that I’d consumed the entire fifth of vodka. And I stumbled and slurred my way through the night, but woke up the next day without a hangover of any kind. Felt great. Felt fantastic. Felt a little odd that I’d made out with the girl’s varsity basketball team’s backup center during Cutting Crew’s “I Just Died In Your Arms” at one point the night before, but other than that, I was in tip-top shape.
Fast forward today: I all but pressed the button on my LifeCall badge just typing that last paragraph up. I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up, and moreover, I have chest pains.
The point of all this isn’t to declare myself fit for a home, or that my best days are behind me, or any such nonsense. But there is definitely a point, right around the age I’m at, where a lot of us look in the mirror and see those few grey hairs, they see those few extra pounds, they feel those few extra aches. And it’s not my plan to completely stop late-night karaoke sessions that leave me sounding like a heterosexual Harvey Fierstein the following morning with a mouth so dry you could light a match along my gum line. I’m not old, but I’m no longer that fifth-of-vodka swigging guy, either. Probably for the best. Vodka has a ton of calories, and I do worry so about keeping this girlish figure of mine.
I work and I work out and I balance the books and I buy The Girl stuff when I can and do all the things someone my age is supposed to do, and I drink cheap beer and play video games intended for teenagers and spend hours tweaking my surround sound and do all the things someone my age still wants to do. And I do it everyday. Some days, the responsible one wins. Most days, in fact. Just the way it is, the way it has to be for now. But I make damn sure the other guy gets his licks in, too. Don’t wanna ignore him.
Can’t ignore him.
He’s a pretty cool guy.
Think I’ll keep him around long as I can.
Posted by Ryan McGee at October 31, 2006 11:20 PM
Comments
that second picture could possibly be the most flattering representation of a human being i have ever seen transcribed onto a monitor.
Posted by: danny at November 1, 2006 04:30 PM