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March 13, 2007
Definition of Tragedy
...when you go into Pizzeria Uno's, as you do, to get a $2.50 20-ounce Killians, as you do, only to find out from your very friendly waiter Andrew that no, corporate finally figured out that Killians was such a good deal that it was losing them money, that they changed the beer special to effin' Michelob.
Traaaagedyyyy....it's such a lonely word...suddenly my beer's uncoooool....
And yet, there we were, my friend Nick and I, ready to get our Killians on after watching "300", and shock of shocks, we get a watered-down corpse in a bottle that is Michelob. I instantly sobered up even though I hadn't partaken of a sip yet. Talk about your pre-emptive buzzkills.
That buzzkill extended into the night, which was supposed to mark our triumphant return into Karaoke Land, but left us feeling a bit...off. I think the lack of Killians contributed to this. Factor in the lack of "Italian Idol", she of previous fame who placed 8th on the Italian version of "American Idol", coupled with the loss of Marinda, waitress extraordinaire, deliverer of drinks, laugher of jokes, sitter upon laps...and, well, you had a below-average night.
As for "300"....very good, but it really depends on your 1) capacity to overlook the fact that "Gladiator" covered a good chunk of the plot already, and 2) your capacity to endure facial markings of STDs on widescreen. Seriously. Peeps in Spartans did not wear condoms, y'all. Them nasty pustules be everywhere. Much harder to deal with than the copious amputation of arm, leg, and head throughout the movie.
The other thing about "300"? It's heaviness. Not in terms of drama or pathos, but the sheer physicality of the world represented. Every helmet, every spear, every rock, felt HEAVY. Kudos to the sound designers, who punctured a nice clean hole through my chest thanks to their mix on the low-end of the sound spectrum. I'll see this again, and in IMAX, if possible, but I might wear football protective wear to ensure my inners make it through the aural experience.
I need a Killians. Damn you, Unos. TONIGHT, I DRINK...IN HELL.
Posted by Ryan McGee at March 13, 2007 12:12 AM
Comments
I saw "300" on Saturday night. That night, as usual, I dreamed of many men running around near-naked; this time, however, they all had shields & spears. [What would Freud say?]
Sunday and Monday morning I awoke with "We are SPARTA!" ringing through my head. I am so psyched to see it again!
(And is it just me, or is Xerxes the drag queen from hell?)
Posted by: Tink at March 13, 2007 01:17 AM
Ryan,
Did you know that Xerxes is Paulo from LOST??? Blew me away when I found that out.
Posted by: Nate at March 13, 2007 10:23 AM
I thought the fighting and the visual look of the movie was excellent. I agree that Gladiator covered a lot of what was in the plot and I felt more for the character in that movie than King Leonidas, but the movie was still entertaining. Leonidas' pep talks left a lot to be desired. "Give them nothing! But take from them everything!" "This is where we fight. This is where they die." Who wrote this stuff?
Posted by: Adam at March 13, 2007 04:24 PM
Nate:
I didn't know until Xerxes pulled out a roll of Persian toliet paper and left to do his business.
Posted by: ryan at March 13, 2007 07:09 PM