Wading in the Velvet Sea

Instead of dwelling on the negatives, I’m choosing to focus on the positives. So I’ve come up with five things that make me happy these days, with more than a little help from my friends at YouTube. It’s pretty much only a matter of time before all these clips disappear, since nothing as cool as YouTube can last forever, so I’m gonna drop all the clips I can, while I can.

In no real order…

The Joy of "Psychonauts"

Contrary to the anecdotal evidence on this blog, I’m not constantly playing video games. Only seems that way. Takes me a long time to get through any one game, due to time constraints in my daily life and the fact that I’m fairly horrible at any and all games I attempt. I don’t possess button mashing skills, I can’t figure out puzzle games, and “Resident Evil 4” gave my nightmares for a month. But “Psychonauts” is a game I enjoying being bad at, since the enjoyment level for my is through the roof. Take this cut-scene, which takes place inside the brain of a demented lungfish. Just typing that out makes me happy. My character, Raz, has been dubbed “Googalor” by the mental inhabitants of this lungfish’s subconscious, and they ask my character’s help in liberating the population. You’re either smiling or wondering if I’ve gone off my meds.

The Redemption of Alanis Morrissette

Who saw this coming? Ms. 90’s Angst herself, she who helped launch Lilith Fair Nation, she who emboldened a generation of young women to fight for their right to bitch out loud, she who didn’t seem to know a joke if it came up and bit her in the face, dropped an insanely hysterical cover of “My Humps” on an unknowing public. The fact that it sounds like a “Jagged Little Pill” b-side makes the whole thing even funnier. I keep waiting for her to tell my humps are not here, that they’re uninvited. Or that it’s like 10,000 humps, when all I need is a lady lump. Bravo, Alanis, bravo.

The Triumph of Logic

On the opposite end of the musical spectrum is Mim’s “This Is Why I’m Hot”, which makes me smile because it just might be the worst song since “Jenny From The Block”. (The Girl forbade me from turning the dial in the car when I first heard this, ostensibly because she heard it at her gym and wanted me to suffer as much as she had. Because we share things. Sigh.) I mean, any song that features the lyric, “I’m hot cuz I’m fly/You ain’t cuz you not/This is why, this why, this is why I’m hot” sets the bar to a new low. The chicks from Cirque du Soleil couldn’t limbo under that bar. You couldn't pull off that agrgument on your high school debate team, is all Im sayin'.

The Tragedy of Gravity

Bill Simmons over an ESPN Page 2 linked this last week. Even though you can see what’s going to happen about 20 seconds out, it’s still laugh-inducing. Yes, occasionally I enjoy seeing Eastern European women get owned by white guys who think they can dunk. Yes, I’m 31 years old. Sorry.

The Power of Hallucingenics

Part of me watches this video and wants to say things like, “OK, which guy in the band is on the most drugs?” or “Are they aware the camera’s even on?” But then they teach little Japanese kids how to dance (sort of) and they play the song using the “Guitar Hero” controller and they help the green monster brush his teeth. You had me at “helping the green monster brush his teeth”, Killers. You had me at “helping the green monster brush his teeth”.