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December 17, 2007
A Note To All Men This Holiday Season
Just a quick note to all the fellas: if I hear anyone within ear shot say, "He went to Jared!" and I find out you're the guy who actually went to Jared, I'm straight up punching you in the neck.
I mean, I'm not a violent man by nature, but so help me, these commercials have to stop. And by patronizing these stores, you're part of the problem. And I punch parts of the problem.
I mean, the bar for awful jewelry commercials had been set with the epically awful "Every Kiss Begins With Kay" campaign that assaulted our senses in the early part of the century, but these Jared ads pole vault clear over that bar. They are so bad that I couldn't find one instance on YouTube. There are 198 videos of cats peeing on aardvarks on YouTube, but no one bothered to upload a version of the Jared commercials. Clearly everyone's as aghast as I am.
So do yourselves a favor, men. Avoid Jared. And avoid a punched neck.
And to all a good night.
Posted by Ryan McGee at December 17, 2007 10:47 PM
Comments
The bar for godawful commercials in general was already pretty low (most of them seem to be aimed at people with an IQ of maybe 6), but the Jared commercials accomplished the impossible - they lowered it even further. Never mind the appalling behavior encouraged by some of them, specifically the one where the woman is text-messaging her friends from her date. If I went out on a date with someone and s/he was constantly sending messages to his/her friends while we're supposed to be having what is presumably meant to be a romantic dinner, that date would end very early and not well!
Posted by: Jules at December 18, 2007 04:15 PM
Oh hell and damn yes.
Down with these awful ads and the shallow people who actually measure their love in carats.
Gak.
Posted by: Colleen at December 18, 2007 05:24 PM
If you tried to punch me, for buying jewlery, I would knock YOU the F%&K out. Real quick.
Posted by: Jeb M at December 18, 2007 05:34 PM
Wow, I am glad someone actually feels that way about those commercials as I do. I'm living in Virginia right now, and those commercial have infested tv down here as well. The only other commercial which rivals is that "apply directly to the forehead" nonsense. Between the two, I am going to have an aneurysm sometime in the near future.
Posted by: Mike at December 18, 2007 07:07 PM
not if you just got punched in the neck you wouldn't.
Posted by: Tape at December 18, 2007 07:55 PM
Shut off the television it rots your mind -- and you won't see any more Jared ads.
Posted by: Inf at December 18, 2007 08:52 PM
Aw man, I think I have the receipt for the diamond heart pendant around here somewhere....
But seriously, isn't it cheesy to give your wife or girlfriend a gift that everyone who watches TV will know how much you spent on it? It like saying I love my wife $199.99 plus tax.
Posted by: Casey at December 19, 2007 12:44 AM
Diamond heart pendant equals bonus kick in the pants, alas.
Posted by: Shannon at December 19, 2007 09:51 AM
I just blogged about that recently....and last year too..they always find something more horrific to annoy us.
Posted by: Ulli at December 19, 2007 12:45 PM
damn straight, dude. those ads suck. I change them immediately. and then, of course, my wife yells at me. But, after 20 years of 'wedded bliss', I don't here her yelling anymore.
Posted by: Bert at December 20, 2007 09:45 AM