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July 14, 2008
Karaoke Rules
For a while there, I was Mr. Karaoke. Not because I was particularly good at it, mind you, but because i tended to go out singing at least once a week for a good 2-3 month stretch there. That's not quite Terry Fox levels of impressive, but impressive all the same.
But lately...man, it's been a dry spell. Pretty sure the last time I sang was some time around March, and since then, it's been work, life, and "Rock Band" that's kept me from going back. Oh, and also because I'd sung either "Rebel Yell" or "I Alone" for 12 straight weeks and even i was getting sick of me.
But I'm trying to get up the gumption to go back out there, and with new material, to boot. I won't give away exactly what I will bust out upon my triumphant return to the karaoke stage, but my research has yielded at least five songs that will never, ever make the cut. These are songs I love as individual pieces of music, but would be disaster in KaraokeLand.
Fascination Street, The Cure. It's bad enough when you're up onstage and see the dreaded "12 measure break" sign come up. It means you have to stand up there like a moron while the guitar solo plays out. Imagine standing up there at the beginning of this song. What would the TV say? "256 measure break"? No thanks.
Fiddle About, The Who. Not only would this get you booed off the stage, but might get you straight up arrested. "But it's only a rock opera!" prolly won't cut it as you're getting hauled off.
Lost Cause, Beck. Great if you're in your room alone in the dark wondering why she left you. Not good when entertaining the crowd.
Hazard, Richard Marx. One of the weirdest pop songs ever released. This is the song that asks us to take seriously the notion that Richard Marx might have killed someone. This is somehow less credible than The Wiggles' "Give Your Mom this Roofie-Laden Punch, Kid."
Supper's Ready, Genesis. Fine, if you like 25-minute songs that are phantasmagorias of English cultural history, I suppose. The crowd might disagree.
Posted by Ryan McGee at July 14, 2008 09:40 PM
Comments
Richard Marx is performing this week just down the street from me. I bet if you came and asked him nicely, he'd let you get up on stage and sing "Hazard" for him.
Posted by: Jeanna at July 24, 2008 11:21 AM