Everyone loves a good wedding. Except, of course, anyone who’s a guy. After all, weddings are a prime breeding ground for every man’s favorite question: “So, when are you gonna pop the question?” Historically, I could play this question off without sweating bullets, but now I’m in a situation where the question conceivably relates to my own reality. New territory here. I’m sure many of you can relate.
Never fear, though, since I’ve prepared a Top 10 list of responses to this question. Guys, feel free to use some of these should you encounter similar situations. Also, feel free to contribute suggestions as well. Together, men, we can get through this.
Top Ten Male Reponses To “So, When Are You Gonna Pop The Question?”
10) “Ain’t no wife of mine gonna have a badonkadonk like that.”
9) “As soon as she beats those charges.”
8) “I'm saving up for a Jumbotron ad at Wrestlemania. I wanna make this special.”
7) “If by ‘pop that question’ you mean ‘get another beer’, the answer is now.”
6) “When the troops completely pull out of Iraq.” (If every guy used this one, we’d be out of there by Christmas. Seriously. It worked for Aristophanes.)
5) “As soon as she agrees to a threeway with that waitress from Bennigan’s. She knows the rules.”
4) “I’ll do it just as soon as the Minnesota Vikings win a road game.” (This is for the guys who aren’t against marriage, but need a year or two to work things out.)
3) “Marriage rhymes with carriage, which is what people used to ride around in during the 19th century. Shouldn’t we be looking forward, instead of backwards? I’m all about progress. Aren’t you?”
2) “Marriage is a deep commitment that takes hard work, communication, and perseverance. I just puked on a fake plant after macking on a bridesmaid. You tell me if I’m ready for marriage.”
1) “She’s already given it up; like, a lot. What’s the point?”